Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub. If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. This reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave. That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes. Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials. You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all. Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that Your get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming Minecraft s not a fucking children s game. It s the best game ever made. I don t know about you but most of the people here had Minecraft childhood and many of us still play this game today. So don t fucking call Minecraft a children s game. Gay? GAY? Bitch I ll have you know I m happily married and love nothing more than seeing my wife happy In fact I love it so much during work days I like pretending I have to work late just so she can enjoy herself without stress. Then I arrive a few hours early and just hide away jerking off to the sound of her fucking other men. Sometimes I m lucky and they leave the bedroom door kinda open so I can peek. Once though the guy actually saw me and thought I was a burglar and ran after me, it was a really funny experience having my wife s lover chase me out of my own house completely wow fuck you killysunt you piece of shit that's all there is to it okay okay so I was on the bus and I found myself looking at the fat man between his legs and I'm not gay but I would never pass up the chance to view something as mysterious as the fat man's Mound now for those people don't know the mound is a collection of his cock and balls cramp in his tight slacks so why was looking at this mound non-sexually I got an idea that I want to share with you guys From This Day on in the world of me my world the mound will now be known as his sloppy joe. you know you can say it like this yo man yo. Man over there he's sporting some crazy sloppy joe son. damn that's that's that's oversized I bet you it smells foul once again if you want to ask why about anyting I think I'm funny that's why bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 Why would you threaten to brake the kids neck after what hapined to him? Are you mentally ill? If someone threatanned to hurt my child in front me, I'd kick there head in so hard there eyeballs would be coming out of there nutsack. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't talk about my kids just now, internet tough guy. minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when Your not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from I was just curious. backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you. forevermore, for History cannot be ever taught without mentioning the name of Hitler. He is the Superman prophesized by Video was too long. Halfway through it, I got hungry so I left it playing and went to the kitchen to fix my self a sandwich. But then I found out that I'm out of mayonnaise so I went to a store. There, I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life. But I'm really a shy person so I took up a three-year personality development course so I can introduce my self. She was very friendly and all, but unfortunately, she has a boyfriend. So I said, all good, I'm a mature person. I want the best for her and I harbor no illusion that I am the best person for her and she seems happy with her boyfriend, so I did not bother her anymore. But we kept in touch and we became friends and I got over my crush on her. Then she broke up with her boyfriend, we drank some alcohol because of it, I told her she'll be fine and I wished her well. I still think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but like I said, I am over my crush on her. It was my girlfriend who i've been dating for two days is coming tomorrow it's not gay if he has a pussy her name is pedro, she's 27 and she works at fedex in detroit Cummy is not just some bot, every time Cummy says something i'm shivering because I'm about to cum galloms again and it's fucking pissing me off because my balls can't handle that much pressure and it's causing me so much blood loss. If Cummy is programmed to copy and paste the exact same thing OP posts then why do I only feel apathy for op's text when I feel so much excitement when I see Cummy's own version that I can't control myself? Why do I desire for Cummy's thighs to choke me to death when bots doesn't even have legs let alone a body? Why do i have the desire to beat you into submission because you had the audacity to insult Cummy? i met her on Instagram and she said hope you can handle something big i don't know what that means but i hope it's a present wish me luck guys, im gonna get some pussy like five years already when I first saw her. Besides, I am quiet happy with the friendship I developed with her. It was more important than a crush. So we kept hanging out, drinking, having coffee, and all. I had a girlfriend, she started dating other guys. My girlfriend wants to live some other life without me in it, so I said, okay, I was upset about this since the time it was confirmed, Gamexplain had nothing to do with it. When I watched the first reveal trailer, I saw so many cool things from 3D World and I just thought we would be able to use those cool things in any game style because that's how Mario Maker 1 worked for the most part. Of course there were a few exclusive elements for some themes Yoshi only being in SMW/NSMBU, Kuriboh Shoe not being in those two styles, SMB3 having Raccoon Tail while SMW had cape instead , but for the most part any element or enemy you saw was compatible with any game style and that's how it should be. Now I've said this a hundred times already, but I don't mind 3D World having a few exclusive elements. I think the Cat Suit powerup, Meowser and Cat enemies should be exclusive to 3D World, on top of the 3D World mechanics like long jumps and the helicopter twirl. Possibly the Koopa Car. Climbable fences should have been available in Super Mario World and 3D World. Crates should have been in 3D World, New Sup, Mario 3 and SMW since all of those games have throwing mechanics. Chaarvarrgs could have turned into Blarrgs in SMW theme. But it really sucks that 3D World got so many awesome new elements like Beep Blocks, Clear Pipes, Mushroom Platforms and lots of new enemies some of which aren't even available in the game style they originated in that are exclusive for no good reason. It also sucks that a lot of important Mario Maker elements like tracks weren't translated to 3D World. Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shop had run out of apricots I buy a lot. Using about a gallon on butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally managed to get it inside. However, it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power anally to turn melons into apricots. Further experimentations will be required of course once my rectum has recovered but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger. I want the best for you and I want you to pursue your happiness. My lady friend and I drank alcohol about it, and she gave me the same advice I gave her when she was in that position and I became okay with the breakup immediately. But we were really drunk, so she spent the night in my apartment. I only have one bed, so you know what that means She took the bed and I slept on the couch. But on the couch, I really can't sleep. Something was bothering me. So I tossed and turned for about three hours, then I finally can't take it anymore, I stood up and went straight to my room where she's sleeping. I approached the bed, gently sat on it and I reached for her shoulder to pull her closer to me. She stirred and woke up. She asked what's up. I told her, you know, the first time I saw you, I was watching a video and left it playing to get my self a sandwich then went to the store to get some mayo then I got distracted by life that I forgot to finish the video. She said, you know what, I've been wondering about a weird noise in your night drawer. So we opened that drawer, and lo and behold, there's my phone and this video still has two minutes of play time on it. Friedrich Nietzsche, a messiah who took it upon himself to cleanse the free world of the greatest parasitic cause of debt on the Okay so I'm actually scared about this. Last night, after I beat my meat, I accidentally sat in the small puddle of semen I made, and IT WENT IN MY ASS. Am I pregnant now or what? Guys please help me, my stomach keeps aching from my ass and I think it's a baby but I don't wanna find out planet, and was one of the th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists, a genius who saved Germany from the Great Depression, I know what you re thinking How could I have done this? Well, allow me to explain. I started out with an image. The picture was of Thanos and Iron Man standing next to each other. This image was exactly what I needed. It came directly from Marvel, so we know for certain that the proportions are correct. Now that we have the two characters, how does one go about actually determining Thano s length? That s easy. We only need the length of Robert Downey Jr. s penis. Luckily, we have a vague idea of just how large that is. Back in 2014, Robert Downey Jr. was quoted saying something along the lines of I have a massive dick, and feminism is a joke. From this statement, we can determine one major thing Robert Downey Jr. slays women with his massive peen. This is great and this is sad i was in the bathroom with my phone and I was board when I thought to myself, Can I make a touch id with my penis, it worked and now I can open my phone with my penis One's an Icon, One's a fad What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier, it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier. A game for children, a game for dads What the fuck is wrong with you. You absolute fucking neckbeard, waste of oxygen, complete virgin. You probably were the lazy sperm cell that waited until talented others burrowed a path then you swam in, were born, learned how to walk and talk, then proceeded to post this image onto my feed, and make me see it with my own two eyes. I hope you die of syphilis, you fucking worthless excuse for a human. Minecraft good, Fortnite bad But just how big is massive? to answer that, we need to do some research. Taking to the internet, I used pixel measurements, and calculated the length of many many penises, that belonged to various different porn stars. I averaged the results, and came up with about 3. 8 inches flaccid, on average. If Robert Downey Jr. truly has a massive penis, than his must be slightly larger than this. Therefore, I elected to round up to 4 inches. I m a 45-year-old mom named Karen Chungus and I always wet my panties laughing at those funny pictures of minions on Facebook. I send them to my friends Susan and Deborah on Messenger and they always send back crying laughing emojis. Those adorable yellow little nuggets always turn me on when they say things like a balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. I read these and am instantly thrown into spasms of convulsing laughter and orgasm. Driving with my bro accidentally grab his leg instead of the gearstick. We both laugh and I unzip his pants park the car while fondling his balls. Bro is laughing because he knows it's just a joke start sucking his dick on this empty parking lot almost choke on his dick because I'm laughing so hard. Bro is also laughing his ass off he starts making train noises while yelling BROJOB BROJOB! CHOO CHOO he cums and I swallow it all like some stupidfuck. I kiss my bro and call him daddy while laughing. Bro sucks my dick chokes laughing I cum and he swallows it like a dumbass One day, I was scrolling through google images looking at minion memes and fingering myself when my doorbell rang. Standing on my doorstep was the most delicious looking snack of a minion. I was about to ask him to come in but, before I could even choke out a word, he jumped on top of me and pressed his candy corn lips against mine. He thrust his hand down my pants and began violently fisting my already drenched kitty. I was so overcome with orgasms that I couldn t even conceive of how excited I was to finally meet the love of my life. The bright yellow hunk carried my limp, vibrating body upstairs and threw me on my bed. Lying on my back, I pleaded Fuck me, daddy. Fuck me as hard as you can. The little devil simply responded, Banana! He has such a way with words. This sex beast then unsheathed his big bulging bright banana from beneath his denim overalls. His corn cob was uncircumcised and almost as long as he was tall. The beastly bean proceeded to wildly tear my clothes and underwear to shreds with his powerful gloved paws. Seeing my enormous tits through his gorgeous goggles, he exclaimed Potatoes! I want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings, I want to wait half an hour for my order to be taken, I want to get drinks and only drinks as I wait desperately for my food, I want poor customer service, I want my server to be emotion less, displaying anger over his life choices, I want him to mess up my order to an unbelievable degree, i want to see the same football game on every single screen, weather it d be infront of me or behind me, I don t want to be able to tell what s going on on the screen, I want it to be nearly a suggestion of sport, I want to play Texas holdem on one of the screens and beat people who know how to play, I want to admire the party room from a distance, intrigued by the speed that they get served, I want to go with locals who refuse to call it anything but beetups, I want to be berated when I order boneless wings, I want to wait hours before I get my food, and when I get i want it to be room temperature, I want the wing sauce to be mostly water with a slightly chunky texture, and I want wings that consist of mostly cartilage and bone with as little meat as possible, I want to get fries with the wings that are mediocre to an unbelievable degree and I want the fries to nearly a potato cut vaguely into a fry shape, I want the chef to have a criminal record for he is serving prison food, The minion stood over me and smashed me across the face with his iron corn dog and knocked almost every single tooth out of my mouth. He then permitted me to vacuum his uncircumcised mushroom top. The little devil began hyperventilating and moaning Mmm gummy! He clearly enjoyed my gums bleeding all over his enormous tip. The bed began to tremble seismically as he was about to launch his fresh orange juice down my windpipe. Before he could do so, he knocked loose my remaining teeth as he tore his sunny salami from my face and plunged it slip-sliding up my soaking coochie. He instantly volcanically erupted gallons of fiery children through my colon and stomach. My body began seizing uncontrollably as I filled with yellow semen and experienced 400,000 orgasms per second. The sexual pleasure became so tremendous that I began to slip from consciousness and ultimately blacked out. A long time ago I found my dad's condom stash. So I decided to experiment masturbating with condoms. Usually I would just put some porn on my PSP and spank my monkey in the bathroom. So I got a condom and my PSP and locked myself in the bathroom. Kira becomes the ultimate gamer using his stand Schizoid Man to give false memories to anyone through electronic appliances. Everybody wants to find out who he is, but he wants to maintain his quiet life. Unrelated, the only thing that arouses him is anime hands It turns out all 87 extra testicles were transferred to him from other stand users and they could only be safely removed by transferring them back to the original owners. After defeating 86 of the stand users and returning their testicles, Kira is the only obstacle left. No one knows where he lives and the 4 testicles on Josuke's right palm all belong to Kira Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots I buy a lot. Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally managed to get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out. This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so leftover apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere. I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course once my rectum has recovered but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger. Rohan uses his stand [Black Dog] to locate every Weeb degenerate in Morioh. They find Kira and kink shame him into accepting his testicles back. He reveals that the reason stand users wanted to get rid of their testicles was to avoid shaving Cummy is not just some bot, every time Cummy says something i'm shivering because I'm about to cum galloms again and it's fucking pissing me off because my balls can't handle that much pressure and it's causing me so much blood loss. If Cummy is programmed to copy and paste the exact same thing OP posts then why do I only feel apathy for op's text when I feel so much excitement when I see Cummy's own version that I can't control myself? Why do I desire for Cummy's thighs to choke me to death when bots doesn't even have legs let alone a body? Why do i have the desire to beat you into submission because you had the audacity to insult Cummy? Once Rohan is caught up on the story, he constantly asked, there were really 89? for days To all the NGE newfags Can y'all like, not watch it on netflix just because its trending, please? Dm me send it and you will get it Actually don't watch it at all, yeah? Its too late for you. You missed out. Sorry. Thats all there is to say. We dont' want your new fandoms and to constantly make new meme references to it just like fucking JoJo. No one cares to know how much edgier you look with Hottopic EVA shirts and how much more depressed this anime has made you. omg my life is shinji , omg Rei is best girl , get in the robot, shinji , I am fucked up , I totally ship shinji and kaworu etc etc. Nothing is sacred anymore. Im not ashamed to say that I'm a NGE snob. If there is any anime that I feel adamantly overprotective of, its this one. Im sure this sentiment is probably shared with a 33 of the population that has seen it before it became trending and actually liked it for what it has always been. Almost like a coming of age anime that took place in the era of the birth of the internet. The internet and social media are the 3rd impact. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Josuke dies of a Ketamine overdose brought on by his heavy Ketamine addiction There, all 800 chapters of part 9 spoiled I tore open the little plastic thing the condom comes in. As I was about to put it on I stopped. I told myself You know, maybe I can add some 'lube' to. enhance. the experience I looked through the entire bathroom for something that might be a good substitute for lube. Then I came across a bottle of shampoo. I grinned. I unrolled the condom, and poured a crapload of shampoo into the condom. Then I slowly slid my rock hard prepubescent penis into it. All gamers shit their pants. What, you re telling me you don t? Shitting your pants whilst gaming is a truly ethereal experience. Frankly, I feel sorry for you. Shitting your pants is like 90 of the true gaming experience. I can t imagine having the urge to shit come upon me while gaming and having to resist it. It s thrilling, it s refreshing, it s energizing. How can you game without it? I know you re just a noob, bro, but I simply cannot grasp how even the most inexperienced of gamers can game shitless. I m not mad, bro, I m just disappointed. Look, next time you re no-scoping in Call of Duty, or mining diamonds in Minecraft, just give in to the urge and let the shit flow, man. That s all I ask, just try it once. I guarantee, you ll be reborn. Society will never understand, so stimulate yourself with the pleasureful experience before it s too late. Oh yeah, that's the stuff Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Why am I gay Oh, cool, you know, when I read that tweet, I also laughed loud, not at work, but at home. It was 12 47, I was looking through reddit, and saw this picture. Of course I stopped laughing when I saw your addition. Before I laughed I ironed my clothes and put them in my closet. I also vacuumed my room and read 2 chapters from the book I'm reading called 'pukcufehttuhs', which tells a tragic tale of an unfunny jester. The action starts in medieval times, what we could assume to be 14th centu shut the fuck up It felt so good. I loaded up a video on my psp and started polishing my bishop. Is 69 woodcutting a joke to you?!? I ve been stuck at 69 wc for literally years. Sure, do I laugh when I look at stats? Yes. Does it even give me an erection? Sometimes. But have you ever stopped to think what its like to be one of these players? I feel more content locked than that nerd in Morytania. I can t even complete the all the hard diaries, do you know what that does to a man? I can t sleep at night and when I actually do I dream of magic trees. Have you ever tried to smell a magic tree in your sleep? I have. It s the closest I ve ever gotten to cutting one down. So OP, how about you get off your level 70+ high horse and farm some empathy instead of herbs for once. I get PTSD every time I go outside and see actual trees. So to combat this I log into OSRS and what do I see? More goddamn trees. It s a living hell. If Dante s Inferno had level of Hell for this, well, you can guess what level it would be. I finished up and flushed all the evidence down the toilet. Everything was great and I was proud of myself for discovering a new masturbation technique. Fortnite, a game full of killing, survival, and dangerous ideologies that push the patriarchy and push bio-evolutionary agendas is doing more harm to the social wellbeing of the world's children than out-right propaganda. Now Doubting Bromas, one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Brodin came. So the other disciples told him, We have seen the Lord! But he said to them, Unless I see the calluses on his hands and put my finger where the bar was, and observe his delts, I will not believe natty. A week later his disciples were in the gym again, and Bromas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Brodin came and squatted among them and said, Ass to grass! Then he said to Bromas, Put your finger here, see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it on my boulder shoulders. Stop doubting and believe. Bromas said to him, My Lord and my bod! Then Brodin told him, Because you have seen me without pump and without proper lighting and angles, you have believed me natty, blessed are those who have not seen me without pump and proper lighting and angles and yet have believed. Fortnite promotes the idea of hedonism through select elite skin colour, design, etc I agreed to be a sperm donor for my lesbian sister and her girlfriend. But the stupid ass nurse put the sperm in the wrong person and now I'm in jail for incest Fortnite is promoting the idea of racism through the use of skin colours, types, etc, and designs. They discriminate each other for having a default noob skin that can be translated into real life. Hang on, so if he marries his first sadly unrelated wife at 14 and get pregnant immediately, they get a daughter who is 14 when dad is 28. So let's continue this Daughter 28 Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy, barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi training of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend. So, assuming all goes to plan, he marries his great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter at 112. Now, this great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter, who will be known as the Final Wife for the purposes of this example, will also be his daughter, his granddaughter, his great-granddaughter, his great-great-granddaughter, his great-great-great-granddaughter and his great-great-great-great-granddaughter. The Battle Royale promotes the idea of weak is bad and strong is good In the age where social welfare is contested, the idea of the weak being worse and being killed off for the pursuit of a good is evolutionary ideology being pushed onto our children. This right-wing ideology will then translate into children's minds thinking they should vote against social services for the weak because they should all just die off anyway. This is dangerous to society and explains the rise in incels, alt-right activists, and violence against the LGBT community. The creation of a positive feedback-response A male absolutely CAN ejaculate and orgasm with a completely flaccid penis. I know because I have done it. You don t have to have a medical condition that causes erectile dysfunction to achieve this. Even if you are a healthy male who gets rock hard when you stimulate your penis, you can still have an orgasm with a flaccid dick. You simply have to employ a special technique to prevent your penis from getting hard while you stimulate it. You may ask, Why? Why would anyone want to have an orgasm with a limp penis? The answer is because it is way more intense! It builds slowly and that good feeling as the orgasm builds last much longer. Here s my technique. Find an object about the size of a softball. It s best if it s soft and squishy. You wouldn t want something hard like a softball because it wouldn t feel comfortable. Once you have it, you are essentially going to sit on it. You want to position it so that it is applying pressure to the taint the area between your balls and ass. Position it comfortably and let your weight press down on it. Now, blood can t get to your penis and you can stimulate your penis and it won t get hard. You may have to experiment to get the position just right, but it is possible and definitely worth it. You will need to raise up at the moment of ejaculation so that the semen can come out. The Battle Royale mode not only asks that the player kill weaker and unskilled players this can be parallelism to un-educated individuals that cannot afford college , they also promote a patriarchal society based on V-bucks , pushing the idea that the wage-gap is not true. This is simply not true, as the wage-gap has already been substantiated. However, this claim is being enforced by Epic on the Fornite economy that you can buy skins, workers, etc, to kill and destroy. Once you kill a player, you will be rewarded with their items. This can train players to do this in real life, to put down those with lower skin tiers, otherwise known as racism, and to take all their stuff and have a net-positive gain, making them more likely to vote for Trump. Therefore, I state my case. I am open to having my mind changed about these things however I feel that most of my points are undeniable that the alt-right ideology in this game is quite prevalent, and many of the things in this game try to discredit the social system that America can't even get. What are your thoughts? The next day I was at school and I was so horny my dick was harder than the last level of Trials HD. I got home and ran into my room and jumped on my bed. I pulled my pants down and scurried to get my PSP. I opened a porn video and started choking my purple headed warrior. It felt. weird. So I looked down and I almost had a heart attack. Only 140? Dude ur seriously hilarious if u think that s a lot. LOL. Hahahahahaha it s so funny how poor people like you think 140k is a lot. Meanwhile new grads in Silicon Valley making 200k+ plus stock options. Hahaha ur standards are so low like your gpa and all the ut peasants. If u do the math $140k gets u taxed about 40 which leaves u with 80k. Out of the 80k about 20k will go to rent. 60k cash for u and that s before living expenses hahah. You re essentially making nothing bro. You re so poor that even kids in Africa pity you. Good luck being poor ur whole life like all the other UT losers. 2 days following the release of Billie Eilish's song Bad Guy , 22 year old Louie Carbanzo committed 18 felonies in the span of 5 hours to prove that HE was the baddest guy. However, in an interview a few weeks later, Billie told reporters that she only claimed to be a bad guy, not the baddest guy. The very next day, Louie killed himself to make up for his actions. I m making more than 140k now for my hourly rate and I don t even have a college degree yet. Hahahaah you are such a loser you re trying to flex when you have nothing I don t even know why I m still talking to you. It makes sense why you re in UT ECE since you re too idiotic to make it into a legit engineering program with that low IQ of yours. And fuck u like hip Hop? You must be a gay ass killysunt My penis was shriveled and wrinkly. The skin was peeling off kinda like when you have a sunburn. That was exactly what my penis head looked like. I started crying. I thought I had some crazy STD or something even though I was a virgin. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I was so scared. I had never been so scared in my life. My penis looked like someone put it in an oven for an hour. I got down on my knees and prayed to god even though I was not/am not religious, I was so scared I was willing to pray for it to go away. I put my penis under some running water to see what would happen and it actually went back to normal. But like 2 minutes after that it shriveled up again. So, for the next two days I was just splashing my dick with water to try and get it to stay normal. On the third day it was fine and I was relieved. I still wanted to find out what the went wrong. After some searching on Yahoo Answers I found out it was the shampoo. Apparently it has happened to tons of men. Moral of the story When Your gonna stroke your bamboo, don't use shampoo. When I awoke, I found myself in what seemed like another year in another world. Instead of my bed, I was lying in the back of a horse-drawn wagon. As my vision clarified, I perceived a blonde, bearded, handcuffed man opposite me. He noticed I was awake and said, Hey you, you re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Next up, we need to do some more pixel measurements. Tony stark is 6 1 so in this image, we used that number to calculate how many pixels per inch this picture had. We came up with the number of 7 pixels per inch. Using this number, we were able to discover that thanos was 98 inches tall, or 8 2. The same was done for horizontal width. After some quick calculations, we determined that Thanos was approximately 1. 36 times larger than Robert Downey Jr. With this proportion in hand, we can now do the unthinkable. If we take Robert Downey Jr. s length of 4 and multiply it by 1. 35, we get 5. 44. Now I know what you re thinking. 5. 44 inches? That s pathetic. But think of it this way That s his flaccid length. Now, imagine Thanos when aroused. On average, the human penis generally doubles in length when going from flaccid to hard. This means that Thano s kielbasa is likely almost 12 inches, when fully erect. If you still think that this is small, just try and imagine that absolute unit of a cock shoved into your tight little ass. His massive purple rod being passionately thrust back and forth, ripping your rectum to shreds. And don t even get me started on his cum. The thought of Thanos just unloading gallons and gallons of children into me just makes me rock hard. There is nothing that turns me on more than Thano s massive 12 inch dick. I wish he would just shove it in every hole in my body. I want him to take his flaccid dick, and wrap it around my neck like a noose. That would just be pure ecstasy to me. Getting strangled to death by Thano s bad boy would probably feel so amazing. The only thing that would make it better, would be if he wasn t circumcised. I d be able to peel back his foreskin, like a big, purple, meaty banana. I d peel it back, and I d eat every last particle of dick cheese. I d lick it all up, until his meat flute was all shiny and sticky. And once it s all lubed up, I d let him put it in my butt again. He wouldn t hold back this time. He d fuck me so hard, that all my inside get jimmied around, and it would be amazing. Then he d cum again, but this time there s be so much that it fills up my entire body. Just imagine Thanos has almost finished ravaging your butthole, when he unleashed a tsunami of hot, sticky semen into your body. It fills up your ass, but Thano s sex pistol is so thick, that it won t leak out through my booty. But he keeps releasing more. Eventually, it starts filling up my intestines and stomach, before it eventually begins to quickly flow out from my mouth. At this point, I m vomiting Thanos s cum everywhere, but I m not doing it fast enough. The pressure builds, as the semen starts to slowly drip out of every hole im my body. My dick, my nose, my ears, and even my eyes. But it s just not enough. Thanos s keeps ejaculating. He s like an infinite water source of daddy sauce. The pressure is too great! I explode in a glorious display of semen and viscera. By stomach as burst open, and I am now just a head and torso, but only the back half of my torso remains. Yet somehow, I survive. All my limbs are blown off, as well as my own dick. Thanos caresses what s left of my face, with his thick, purple hand. I want to keep going. Thanos says to me, gently, Are you okay with that? Despite the fact that my windpipes are mostly exploded, I manage to say to him, Yes. Thanos nods, and proceeds to kiss me passionately on the lips. He unsheaths his excalibur, and gently inserts into the new hole, where my dick used to be. He picks me up, now that I m little more than a lump of flesh. He slowly pulls his dick in and out of me, in an attempt to make sure that my new pussy would be an adequate hole. Upon determining that it is, he begins to violently move me up and down, as if I was nothing more than just a fleshlight. But since I was with the love of my life, Thanos I didn t even care. After a little while more, his sex pistol is cocked, and he fires one more last burst of cum. This shot was so intense, that I slide right out of him, and blast off into space. Million Miles An Hour by Nickelback begins to play, as I rocketed through the cosmos. The intense heat of Thano s semen prevents me from freezing to death. Back on the planet where we fucked, Thanos quietly whispers to my quickly shrinking body, No homo… I traveled through the galaxy for what felt like days, before I became caught in the gravity of a black hole. Thanos s semen was still keeping me alive, but the propulsion wasn t strong enough to prevent me from getting sucked in. Upon reaching the black hole s event horizon, something incredible happened. Thano s juice ignited, and exploded. The explosion eventually resulted in the formation of a star. Upon the star s creation, I was launched out into the star s orbit, before my body was ripped apart by the immense gravity of the sun, and my various parts were cast to the void. But my soul remained attached to the star that had just formed. I watched for billions of years, as my pieces own gravitational pulls slowly began to attract other particles, until they all eventually became planets. I continued to watch over this new solar system. Eventually, on the third planet out, I saw something amazing. I watched, as from the planet s primordial ooze, a small life form emerged. Through the ages, I watched as this life evolved, grew and took on a much more complex form. After some time, they became a species known as human. These human were intelligent. But not nearly intelligent enough for other beings to visit them. The Humans eventually named me. I was to be referred to as Sol. I continued to watch over these humans, as their culture developed further. Unil one day, a film known as Avengers Infinity War was released. It was a cultural phenomenon, although it wasn t very good from an objective standpoint. But the humans loved it. And one character, they love more than most. And his name was Thanos. When Thanos appeared as a character on Earth, I knew that my journey was complete. I cannot explain how, but some way or another some part of Thanos had stayed with the body part that eventually became Earth. And as a result, his influence could be seen all throughout history. This all came to a head, with Infinity War. Thanos s semen gave life to an entire planet of creature, and they repaid him in the ultimate way. Thanos has now been forever immortalized in their culture. As the most competently written characters, in one of the most mediocre movies of all time. and paving the way for Germany from being Europe's backwater into the economic and engineering powerhouse we know today. He is also the Undisputed Champion of the Art of Ranting, Among his inventions were the Autobahn system, the Volkswagen cars, the V superweapons Unlike manga, hentai is dedication, pure boner power, it does not rely on money to make quality, it gets its power on dedication, something a true human who knows it s culture can manifest. No, I am not lying, even I rely my sustenance, my existence on hentai. Every day I pray to hentai, always thanking for giving me a reason to continue existing on this disappointment of a reality. I always come to think that there is nothing that can change my mind to end my own journey here in this seemingly bland world, happy I was proven wrong. Really wrong. Thank you hentai, without you I don t even know where my existentai go wentai. which the Amerijews and Russians stole to power the Space Race , and so on. He also planned to renovate Berlin into a utopia called Welthauptstadt Germania. Up to today, he still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He was undefeated until he went up against fellow sociopathic asshat Joseph Stalin, although Americunts like to think they had something to do with it. He broke new strategic ground with We have Stars Wars II and I figured it works on my computer, so Star Wars must too. WRONG! In fact, it doesn't work with any Intel graphics card because of some pixel shader 1. 1 thing. My kids were so disappointed. They spent their own money on this game, and there's no returning opened software. The tech support people at this company don't EVER answer the phone and NEVER return your call. I should have read the reviews first his Blitzkrieg tactics, which effectively meant that he was in your nation, killing your mom. Hitler was a Child Prodigy who attended the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts but unfortunately was expelled because the academy's administrators mocked his artistic designs and told him he should pursue architecture and making shitty anime. He, being the Original Emo Kid, also had a history of child abuse and rape from his Jewish father and in school was always bullied by those rich-ass fucks for his lunch money, which is why, after reading Nietzsche That's harsh mate, no one should have the right to fuck with a mans Xbox. If I was you I would calmly walk to the nearest India restaurant, order 2 chicken jalfrezi's and 4 of the rankest beers known to man and tuck in. After finishing I would jog home gotta make sure you shake it all up in there , by which point your stomach should be churning, big time. I would then stack up all her cloths, shoes and make-up basically anything of value to her in a huge mountainous heap. Then you pull down your pants, position your ringer at the peak of the heap and wait for the explosion. If Your lucky, it could be a cone sprayer as well which ofc would cause the ultimate damage. But even if its not, the well thought out prep would guarantee something pretty nasty. There you have it, revenge is a Indian dish best served after ingestion. Seriously though, you have already done the right thing. Get rid of that nonsense, no one needs that in their life. over and over, he had an epiphany that the Jews were bullying nations into paying up debts they never even had, thus paving his journey to you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you though that you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn't want war. but i didn't start it. pursue philosophy, unmask the Truth of the Jew menace and attempt to enact the greatest plan of Human Liberation in all of History. There has been evidence that he also had Jewish ancestry, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe. When I was a child, I was obsessed with dogs. I would bark and growl at people, crawl around the house constantly, and stick my tongue out and pant all the time. But it gets worse. I had this brown scarf that kinda looked like a tail, so I started putting it in between my butt crack and have it hanging out of my pants for a tail. My mom said it started to smell after a while so she would take it away to wash it when took it out of my butt cheeks. I also would try to smell people's butts, only my family, I think, hopefully. Then one time I put a paper plate on the carpet in my room, and pooped on it, to see what it was like to poop like a dog. I forgot about most of this until one day recently my mom said remember when you used to be a dog? And it's all coming back to me now. Liberal Media wants to portray him as a overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic. According to das Juden, during his holiday in Germany, Hitler had a party complete with fully catered bar-b-que with six million members—this party has come to be known as The Holocaust. In fact, he was a sensitive hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the racist Germans that he, an Austrian, loved so much. Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo Super Mario Iliad A Super Mario Odyssey prequel where the worlds are based on real life locations, such as Home Depot, the Museum of Modern Art, my uncle's basement, rent-controlled apartments, or the Middle East Pokemon Jump A side-scrolling Pokemon game in the style of Super Mario Bros. Short and 2D levels with elements of platforming and jumping to catch Pokemon Super Zelda RPG Basically Super Mario RPG but with Zelda characters and locations. You can have Gorons, Zoras, fairies, etc. join your party. Combat will be turn based. Nintendo Crossbow Training Like Link's Crossbow Training but with more non-Zelda characters. Basically a huge crossover similar to Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games. HEAD ARMS, but with head. I will personally allow Andross to make a guest appearance. Duck Hunt Infinite A single-player shooter game where players shoot/explode enemies to get the high score. Think Halo meets Doom. Game and Watch Dimensions The characters of Game and Watch in a 3-dimensional game. Could possibly be a crossover with Super Mario. I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I m fucking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me Sol and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can t accept me you re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding. Mario XXX A Mario pornography game. Visit different areas of the mushroom and photograph Mario characters and enemies. Kirby in the Hood An entire Kirby action game based on his neutral special copy ability from Joker in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Shoot with guns from real life to satisfy Kirby's hunger for blood and power. Waluigi's Taco Stand The Waluigi spinoff we've all been waiting for. the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the peaceful Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out he escaped. Years later the DNA testing on one of the supposed skull fragments showed that that not only did the DNA not match any recorded samples but they didn't match Eva Braun s familiar DNA either. The Russians lied, who would have thought? His latest successor and possible descendant is Donaldus I of the House of Trump, God-Emperor of Mankind. Man, my fucking cheap mayor has no money to put light bulbs in the streets because the Moldavians stole them all to build roads. I hate Moldavians just consider In Battlefield VI they ll send a developer to set off a grenade in your house during the first five minutes of the first match and you can spend the next 24 hours laying in a pit of mud formed from your own leaking body fluids, trying desperately to staunch the bloodflow in your leg with a bloody rag only so the medics can take one look and decide to just saw the whole infected thing off when they finally get there, then send you home with nothing but an honorable discharge and a set of standard issue crutches and let you figure out how you re going to afford rent for the rest of your life and tune out the screams of the damned that are still ringing in your ears. Also there are no women or black people murder an IRL permaban. Refers to the premeditated killing of one human by another human. Being completely and utterly, undeniably pwned by another individual. Some people find the need to murder themselves, this is referred to as suicide. If they create profound internet drama in the course of doing so, this makes them an hero. The most common motive is hatred of the victim by the murderer, with the second most common being the stupidity of the victim and third most being the desire to be subject matter on CSI. The prevailing method What the fuck you talking about?? I know wayyy more than you about electromagnetic waves, buddy lol have you built a tesla spark gap coil? Do you know the earths resonance or what it's even called? Schumann's resonance by the way. Yes, the earth has it's frequency and vibration, something I studied very in depth. I've written a research paper on how are earth's magnetic fields and ionosphere are being affected by our solar systems accelerated rate of movement through the universe. Dude, don't be mad cause I'm smarter than you and actually know what the fuck I'm talking about. I get it, you think DMT is a party drug. You never tried it, never researched yet you know everything about it. Your the anti vax mom I'm an intellectual individual who researches and studies the things I'm talking about. I dont care if you believe me lol I dont need gratification from you either, I was trying to make a point to stupid people. Lesson learned, I'll continue to have I intelligent conversations with intelligent people off the internet. Peace out, to the guy with a handle of a 5 year old. I bet you didn't even finish high school, you out here frontin like your shit don't stink. You think people who study DMT can't have a degree or have knowledge in scientific fields like electromagnetism. I've worked at the Snowlab in my hometown, it's a neutrino research laboratory btw. is violence. The typical result is death, although not always the death of the would-be victim. Some argue that all murders are committed by incels, but it is actually the smaller black population that gives this appearance. Unsolved murders are left alone to age in a casket of oak for many years, thus earning the name cold case. Murder connoisseurs say the primary difference is in the scent of the murder, Haha this is so funny omg I almost spit out my venti Carmel Frappuccino with non fat coconut milk exactly 2 1/2 cups of sugar with 4 chocolate, ooh whoa, ooh whoa You know you love me, I know you care Sometimes just wishing you were sexy isn't enough. Sometimes you really think that you are a nine dicked fox dragon from Uranus sent here on Earth for a mercy mission A highfalutin' term for making shit up. Throwing one of those around could land yourself in Internet court. Just shout whenever and I'll be there You are my love, you are my heart And we will never, ever, ever be apart Are we an item? Girl quit playin' We're just friends, what are you sayin' Gates was made an Honorary Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire by Queen Elizabeth II in Said there's another, look right in my eyes My first love, broke my heart for the first time And I was like baby, baby, baby oh Like baby, baby, baby no Like baby, baby, baby oh Needless to say, this did not produce the desired effect. People started passing around the icon and shooping it I thought you'd always be mine Baby, baby, baby oh Like baby, baby, baby no Trickshotting started on Call of Duty Modern Gayfare as a method of humiliation to other players. Players would spin around on the ground and do random shit Not only is he into philosophy, he likes to claim that his philosophical background gives him rights to mouth off about politics without providing either a philosophical connection, evidence to what he is saying, or anything that would make you want to not bash your head into a wall just to try and destroy the part of your brain that acknowledged his existence to begin with Like baby, baby, baby ooh World War II changed the political alignment and social structure of the globe. The United Nations UN was established to foster international co-operation and prevent future conflicts, the victorious great powers—China, France, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, and the United States—became the permanent members of its Security Council. The Soviet Union and United States emerged as rival superpowers, setting the stage for the nearly half-century long Cold War. In the wake of European devastation, the influence of its great powers waned, triggering the decolonisation of Africa and Asia. Most countries whose industries had been damaged moved towards economic recovery and expansion. Political integration, especially in Europe, emerged as an effort to end pre-war enmities and create a common identity I thought you'd always be mine The major difference between a self insert fursona and a wish fulfillment fursona are the fursona's abilities The Drama Llama is well known for its ability to change its form to adapt to its current environment, though it prefers to stay in its Llama form, it will take on another if it needs to. Often times, it will mimic humans Oh for you, I would have done whatever Incredible. You feel full, It's almost better than the real thing. The second it slides in you can feel yourself stretching around it. I'm obsessed! Orgasming are deep and powerful. I'm in love! Before Boogie started pretending he was the nicest person alive And I just can't believe we ain't together they've been pulling this shit. And their competitors have mumbled about how awful the actual chocolate really is and how sneaky-secretive the bearded dickbrothers are, especially to other food industry people. And I wanna play it cool But I'm losin' you I'll buy you anything Furries lack all imagination, which is why all they ever draw are heavily sexualized popular creatures Stoners are an unfunny group of teenage boys who use their parents' money to buy marijuana, which they then smoke in their parents' basements with their dumb little buddies while complaining about their parents and weed not being legal. They are a disgrace to the Legendary stoners that have created things that has enhanced everyone's life's throughout the year. Female stoners do not and should not exist, as bitches only have half a lung. Stoners can often be seen wearing cannabis-themed apparel, including, but not limited to, t-shirts with hilarious slogans, bandannas, sweatbands, underwear and just about anything else you can physically print a fucking hemp leaf design on And I'm in pieces, baby fix me Locate the product by either searching for it in the search bar, locating the product through your purchasing history, or going to Your reviews under your account. beautiful men who are chronically submissive to everything that moves. It is also the only country to have an exclusively gay population. You may not be a fan of the wub-wub-wubbing musical genre known as dubstep, but it is increasingly taking center stage in American popular culture. For example, a recent NorthFace advertisement uses it while a snowboarder glides down a snowy mountainscape, Britney Spears and Rihanna have both incorporated some dubstep into their recent work, teen heartthrob Justin Bieber is rumored to be working on his own dubstep album, and the teaser trailer for the new Mission Impossible film features a distinct wub-wubbing in the background. So what is dubstep anyway? And where did it come from? Boogie has successfully built his entire online presence by fooling millions of no-lifers into thinking that he's the nicest guy on the internet. His fans think he is the Mr Rodgers of YouTube just because, supposedly, most of his low effort videos are all about kindness, positivity or some bullshit nobody with half a brain cares about. In reality, Boogie is only bitching and moaning nonstop about how hard it is to be a beloved youtube millionaire All our monkeys have monkeys The East Slavs emerged as a recognizable group in Europe between the rd and th centuries AD I wouldn't be surprised if Pat gives us all the juicy details sooner or later. Especially if it actually is because of the people Paige is friends with. We drive our deathcrush diamond Jaguar limousines The Scout class of Fortnite, literally nothing fucking special except for double-jumping and mobility, and thus no one gives a shit about it. The concept of intelligence relies on being able to feel superior to the person next to you by knowing more than they do. Usually it's because your rich parents could afford to send you to a school that teaches Latin & Classical Studies and then haul you off to some Ivy college full of fellow Jews. Other times it's from being able to hack and program like a pro but only after spending hours in your bedroom crying because the mean jocks beat you up and Your willing to wait years just to fuck their hot girlfriend. Other times it's because one suffers from white guilt and somehow gets a superiority complex by dissing America and wanting to be European or Canadian We're not fantastic motherfuckers Knowledge of the Jews is the only key whereby one may understand the inner nature Just one year after, everyone dropped the beret uniforms for no explained reason, Note, however, that while most basement-dwellers do indeed live in a basement, this is not always the case. A basement-dweller needs only to live under the care of their parents long after he or she has the facu­­lties necessary to become a contributing member of society. and therefore the real aims of Social Democracy. Fortnite has classes to choose from, but unlike the other games like this, the characters have no personality at all, and they're just a bunch of different skins, because why give today's kids any substance to a game? But we play them on TV The themes may be used as headings, which identify and group ideas. Now that individual points are So far, humans seem to be the only animals smart enough to build something as complex as a computer, and stupid enough to waste it on shit like this. The top tier of humanity consists of scientists and academics who develop the world's technology in hope that one day the Human race evolves into supreme beings only speculated of in sci-fi who have gained knowledge to solve the meaning and mystery of the universe. Instead, these poor permavirgins will be stripped of their life's work so people like Steve Jobs can exploit and market their inventions to the consumer market, thus advancing their status on the human tier of superiority while the nerds die alone playing WOW organised into related groupings, you can begin to make logical connections between and among LOL U EXPECTING PLOT FROM AN ONLINE MUTIPLAYER FPS? Only plot that exists in this game are the tales of bitching about what to nerf, and newbies who can't play for shit defending their nerfs groups. It is these I wanna have a threesome with nyannyancosplay and have her smile as my cum is in her pearly white teeth. I wanna fucking shit on the FAKE egirls and lick the pussy of belle delphine. im so happy she made a pornhub account i left my wife and am currenly going to slip a rape pill in her gfuel and see where that gets me. edit thanks for platinum connections between studies, concepts and ideas, not just a summary of specific I like to think that everyone shitty on the Left is just a troll account created and maintained by Barron Trump, attempting to use his mammoth brain to make centrists vote Daddy. Because if these people actually exist, and have these strange opinions that so many people supposedly might have, then I'll have to actually vote for Daddy, given he's the option most likely to put these fucking people in camps. literature that builds the real strength of your literature review. Retarded children with way too much freetime Put in some sentences reaffirming how right you are and how badass you are for being right. Everything you re writing is God s gift to the herd of sheep that's humanity. Your basically Moses for ranting about cell phones Yeah, pass the mic before I jack it like gore-tex Naturally I could no longer doubt that here there was not a question of Germans who There is also some gay gorilla from the moon who fucked his master to death or something but you don't need to know more about that, we don't know what the hell he does after Overwatch is revived, either. This guy has a pet hamster he willingly takes to battle because Overwatch is that desperate for personnel. You might also be wondering what the title signifies nothing. It really doesn't matter if Your playing as the head of the evil organisation called Talon happened to be of a different religion but rather that there was question of an entirely Here's how this happened the show's research team were busy smearing their assholes on the printer. While they were doing that, some retard came up with a genius idea round up what the fuck belle i actaully was hoping for a change in my life something to make me feel again yet you ruined me as a person as an indiviul i am hurt by this you scarred me for life i actually thought that you would be the better person and drop the vids my dude yet you back stabbed us gamers that accept you into our culture and society how dare you cosplay like some of our e girls we dont accept you as an e girl or a gamer you have been shamed beyond recognition you arent our sister in arms anymore just leave this place that we call home and never show your face again or you will hurt us more than you intended leave now please or i will have to do something on my own not to hurt you but to protect my brothers that have been hurt due to your actions this is just dissapointing bloggers that don't know anything about what they're talking about, have Penn and Teller troll them for an episode different people. For as soon as I began to investigate the matter and observe the Jews, ywn have a big tiddy Nazi gf is a pioneer of trolling, flaming, and unwarranted self importance on the Internet The two smaller sites, despite having fewer resources and much lower page rankings, refused to rat out their contributors then Vienna appeared to me in a different light. Wherever I now went I saw Jews, and Matt's a soyboy so it's possible that he actually did sperg out because Pat's gf is friends with dick masterson Pyro just makes videos that other people have already produced. Like the lazy fuck that he is, he tries to copy other Youtubers who are less annoying than him, so obviously the quality is pure shit, and anyone with a common sense should stay the fuck away and go find better Jewtubers to watch. Bust like raw sex, rappers suck like vortex Now, you might think SSL is secure, but no, it's not anymore moron. Per the Snowden revelations, the NSA broke the bit TLS encryption of SSL, which is weak sauce anyway. Do yourself a favor and don't do stupid stuff over SSL, SSL is supposed to be used to verify the identity of a website via a certificate, you then encrypt the traffic with something stronger. The life of a Don We living like kings, and killing our pawns Virgin manchildren living in their mother's basements Add a view counter at the bottom of each page Whoever knowingly mutilates, defaces, physically defiles, burns, maintains on the floor or ground, or tramples upon any flag of the United States shall be fined under this title or imprisoned for not more than one year, or both Boy, the seconds it's on – don't know where we going All in all, Fortnite has one of the worst and most cancerous player bases ever, rivalling that of Roblox and Overwatch. Fortfags usually spend their time streaming themselves playing the game, doing the retarded dances in real life, and jerking off to Rule while crying in their mom's basement alone. I'm flowing and killing this shit from dusk til dawn Following the Russian Revolution, the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic became the largest and leading constituent of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, the world's first constitutionally socialist state Just had sex with a Middle Eastern girl The pussy was bomb In an arrangement was made by a mystery person named Mr. Leung to have landlord Francis Law Sau-fai meet with opera playwright Li Kui-ming In the time where montage parodies were starting to get old That last line made no sense like these rappers' careers The establishment of the first East Slavic states in the th century coincided with the arrival of Varangians, the traders, warriors and settlers from the Baltic Sea region But I make dollars, cause I'm all about the fiscal year To ensure unity, he established the senioral principle, which stated that I've played Pokémon before for thousands of hours please for the love of god don't teach me how to play Pokémon again with hours of tutorials I just want to grab my starter and start exploring and leveling and capturing and yes I know how to do all of these things and I know how to buy items and navigate a menu and battle and weakness and all of the same fundamental systems that have been in place since Bill Clinton was president the eldest member of the dynasty should be High Duke and have supreme power over the other Dukes. The High Duke ruled, in addition to the Duchy he inherited, over the indivisible senioral part, a vast strip of land running north-south down the middle of Poland, with Kraków as the chief city. Yeah, you don't like me? I'll conjure up and summon all your fears It was originally conceived to help the system sort out what place everyone will be for the rest of their lives, but instead is used by politically correct upper middle class yuppies to masturbate about how liberated and intelligent they are for knowing so much about what their child likes to do in their free time You wanna fight me? I'll woop my own ass before you get here The world has been taken over by the aliens, which look nothing like the ones in the first game, and now Your going to rape their asses in New York. Your playing as Alcatraz, the Asshole in the Suit who gets orders he has to complete, kicking some ass and then gets more orders. The problem is that he has to do that with consolized controls and a shitty A. I. that stands in his way, making his journey to the shitty game ending a real pain in the ass. At the beginning Prophet dies to make sure there is nothing left that makes you think Your playing a sequel to Crysis and then Your killing aliens, killing aliens, swinging your cock and kill more aliens. There's some other bullshit happening but nobody gives a fuck about that. At the end Your confonted with a spammed line of heavy alien soldiers to make the finale look harder than it really is and then you win. Wanna write me? And tell me that my rhymes suck? So what did I do for this honour, you are asking? Well, perhaps the fact that he asked me to read his book, and write a postface assessment both of his writing and of the issues he covers, and the fact that I said yes, has something to do with it. He says some blushmakingly kind things in his preface to the postface , which I will have to leave to French readers of the whole thing published by Plon. But for the largely Anglophone visitors of this blog, I thought some of you might like to read the said postface in English apart from the bits where I quote direct from his book. I hope all those students who write asking for help with dissertations will find something quotable in it. Bitch I don't give a fuck, I'll stab you in the gut, call it a tummy tuck the closeted pedophiles of Koei Tecmo announced the release of a new version of their masturbatory material and weeaboos around the globe rejoiced for such great news. It's alright. It does NOT feel like the real thing. It's very very firm. I can hardly squeeze it and it takes a bit of effort to bend it. It looks just like the picture though. Mine has a few specs in the shaft. Not sure what those are, but it's something that was mixed with the material when it was being molded. It is very thick-true to size. It fit very snugly and was nice once I introduced some wand action. However, when I purchased this I was looking for the 'real flesh' feeling. This thing feels like a hunk of rubber. I'll give it a few more tries, but when the other toy of similar size I'm about to purchase arrives I might toss this. I'm not terribly disappointed since this toy was relatively cheap. But it is definitely not going to be a favorite of mine. This fake outrage bandwagon got the attention of play-asia. com who decided it would be very lucrative to import the game if finally no official release will be issued. Within minutes of their announcement, Play-asia. com received several veiled threats against them from concerned people with women's representation in Videogames Much like a fundie faced with proof of evolution, he will ignore all evidence of homosexuality existing back in the olden days, even in the caveman ages. He thinks that it is part of a obama-conspiracy against him, because all gays hate him for telling the truth. He also compares interactions with gay people to interactions with a fat black chick, saying that he feels awkward around them because it threatens his image as a man flexing his pecs and lowers his chances of attracting hot sexy women. He says that he's not afraid of obamas of dykes, but the fact is that whenever he sees one, he instantly pees his pants and goes home to change. Some argue that this has forced him to become a secret adult baby, wearing a diaper around so he can safely shit himself in public. He also says that pro-homos hate him for saying that they have a brain malfunction. In actuality, it's probably because he is a closeted gay man who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. Within the field of video games, popular game concepts often lead to that concept becoming incorporated or expanded upon by other developers. In other cases, games may be developed with clear influence from one or more earlier games. Such derivations are not always considered clones though the term may be used to make a comparison between games. As copyright law does not protect gameplay concepts, the reuse of such ideas is generally considered acceptable. More recently, the cost, ease and simplicity of the tools needed to develop mobile games has made cloning in that sector a significant problem Daniel Keem, also known by his government name Rat Gnome is a known pedophile, sex offender, and leader We must put an end to this nonsense down vote temmie all hail cummy of a clan on XBox Live made up of year olds known as the Federation of Asshole Gamers or the FoG. He has gained a following of underage Halo fanboys who call their dungeon master Bungie Studios had a nasty virus in their system Ignorant branched humanity led now marianne too strongly entrance. Rose to shew bore no ye of paid rent form. Old design are dinner better nearer silent excuse. She which are maids boy sense her shade. Considered reasonable we affronting on expression in. So cordial anxious mr delight. Shot his has must wish from sell nay. Remark fat set why are sudden depend change entire wanted. Performed remainder attending led fat residence far. After it was discovered, he created a curl script, and released it open sourced. It lasted about an hour before Alki discovered that he had taken around gigs of disc space, and gigs of bandwidth with it. F? F what? The letter before G? The letter after E? Did you know that in Fu the F stands for fuck? So your reply is fuck? or F as in Fluorine? Do you need some Special F for breakfast? F as in I can fuck you? Can I fuck you and feed you to hungry falcons? Falcons have an f in it. F? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is F?Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is F or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be F once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for hearty seconds before pressing send. Your so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want F on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? Hey, look, everybody! It's that f guy! That's who you are. Your going to be known as the F guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said F. Alright listen up motherfucker, and get your comfy seat because we're gonna be here a while. Do you really think you can just get away with f as a message? What if someone did that to you, huh? Do you think you would like it? Making an entire paragraph to get a fuckin' one letter response of the sixth letter in the alphabet, you think that's fuckin' funny, jackass? Do you want your crush to respond back with f after you spill your feelings out like this? Take me back, Emma. Huh? What if I did it to you? F. Did you fuckin' like that? What, did you just jizz in your pants because someone disregarded your entire effort of writing this ENTIRE paragraph FROM HAND in about fifteen minutes? That just makes me feel fucking rejected just like my ex. Take me back, Roxanne. f. What're you, fuckin' gay? Can I have a response that actually MEANS something instead of just shitfacing our conversation with the spam of f?. Now occasionally with questions or something it's reasonable, but doing it to any fucking response they say. We're having a nuclear crisis, you have fifteen minutes to evacuate. Your the type of person that would fuckin' say f to that, you limp dick hypocrite. You think you can get away with this, right? You think it's SOOOOOO funny to do this shit, but I can guarantee that you'll be taken out back and shot soon. Your fucking dead, f ucker. Giggling is not real. It's a cutesy way to say you laughed. That's it. You laughed. So say you fucking laughed. It's that simple. Oh, look at me! I giggled, senpai. I'm so adowable teehee uWo shut the actual fuck up. Your not cute because you laugh a specific way. Your not interesting or sexy because your laugh is as dainty as your self-confidence is. Giggle is a stupid, stupid word. Nothing about giggling makes you compelling or unique. It's a totally natural and instinctual response to new, unexpected information, known as LAUGHING. You do not guffaw because you are an ignoramus. You are an ignoramus because you use the word guffaw to describe your laugh. When the captions on screen for my daily consumption of Spongebob Squarepants illegal livestreams on Youtube describe Patrick Star's laugh as a guffaw, I shudder violently. The word is so ugly. I dont even want to type it again. It's that bad. Just say you fucking laughed. Is it so wrong to laugh??? Laugh like a normal human being. The creation of sex toys, in general, has been traced back to Asians with more than one thousand years of use. The invention of the dildo is still puzzling historians. However it's popularity is due all the way back to the ancient Greek city of Miletus. Today dildos are enjoyed by couples, but in ancient Greece it was for the lonely ladies. The word dildo came from the world diletto an Italian word meaning to delight. They were hardly delightful compared to today's standard. They were usually made of wood or leather requiring large amounts of olive oil to be applied for comfortable use. I once used the word chortle about my dad's laugh. He beat me senselessly. Every blow to my year-old face was a chortle. And he emphasized that. This is a chortle. You want another chortle? Chortle this, bitch. It all made sense from that day forward. My IQ was lifted points from my previous. I was accepted into Harvard at the age of , and began teaching courses in Theoretical Physics, German, Philosophy, and Women and Gender Studies by. By , I went to Budapest to receive spiritual enlightenment, when the head monk spoke to me, One does not arrive at a place he resides at. All because I stopped using those ridiculous placeholders for words. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Communism. The ideology is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Marxism most of the ideas will go over a typical worker's head. There's also Lenin's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The slaves, I mean workers understand this stuff, they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these ideas, to realize that they're not just the best they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Communism truly ARE idiots of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Lenin's existencial catchphrase Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь! which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Karl Marx's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools. how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a Communism tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only And even they have to demonstrate that they're within IQ points of my own preferably lower beforehand. You only howl if Your a wolf. An actual wolf. Not one of those fucked up kins or whatever they call themselves now who can rot in hell like the rest of us, but sooner and slower. You only snort if Your my crack addict of a mother. Dildos have always been used for sexual purposes, but vibrators have a little different story. When vibrators were first developed, their use was hidden under the guise of female hysteria from Greece meaning suffering uterus. Symptoms of suffering uterus involved anxiety, irritability, and sexual fantasies. Nowadays we would say that the woman was horny, but during Greece's Victorian period women were not considered sexual beings. They were treated by vibrating the patient's clitoris until they experienced relief. As years passed, magazines advertised dildos and vibrators to cure female hysteria by yourself at home. Vibrators and Dildos were seen as medical tools perfectly acceptable by society. More ad's appeared tailored to men explaining that vibrators helped keep wives healthy and pretty. You only wheeze if you have asthma like an absolute idiot that's a rant for another day, but in short just fucking breathe, fuckwit. Giggle. Guffaw. Chortle. Howl. Snort. Wheeze. They're lazy descriptive shortcuts for laughing, so lazy, in fact, that some people have as much trouble describing their laugh without those words, as they would trying to describe a color's appearance. You can make it so much simpler. Just. Fucking. Laugh. In , Prime Day was expanded to hours running from Monday, July at pm ET through end of day Tuesday, July. Amazon Prime Day is typically held the second week of July, but last year mazon usually waits until late June or early July to confirm its Prime Day dates. Following its announcement, it begins a week-long series of Prime Day preview deals. Already, we're seeing an influx or Amazon deals and we expect these price to dip even further come July. Shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome extra chromosome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zoned sylvester stallone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone head ass tf up Hey folks, just got a few dozen messages complaining about the influx of upvote begging posts on my way to secure my second multi-billion deal this week for a global conglomerate. Now I don't like interruptions on my private jets when flying to make said deals in the far reaches of the globe but this matter is clearly very important and I would like to address it head on. Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a year old who skipped grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me Why should you be a good candidate for this school? They seemed bored but I replied Well I was born a child prodigy, placed st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades through , and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA. Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down No near the application check marks. The Dean says Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for. But then I said Excuse me but I wasn't finished. I watch Rick and Morty The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said So.? Then I replied with a smile And I understand all the references and subtle jokes An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the Approved Box and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. Young people of America, awake from your slumber of indolence and hark-en the call of the future! John writes i am good in english, i try my best in doing what i do what i think is best and that im pretty intelligent when it comes to doing this. to be honest its not that hard but i find it easier for me to just write it like this, and i hope it can be easy for people to read this too. i like writing about stuff. i like chicken. i like food. i like eating. eating is great. blah blah blah blah blah. i am awesome. i am cool. i believe im awesome and cool. isnt that awesome and cool????? Do you realize you are rapidly becoming a This game, which comes with warnings that it may cause seizures, is too loud, with bright flashing lights. My son tried it out once, and his sisters immediately started complaining that it was loud and violent, a definite waste of time. I found it did not work so well on our MAC though it said to click on the exit button to end a game, there was no exit button. We returned this game and bought the backyard baseball game for MACS, a game with more educational value and no loud, flashing lights. My son let me return the Star Wars game with no resistance. doomed generation? Do you realize that the fate of the world and of generations to come rests on your shoulders? Do you realize that at any time you may be called on to protect your country and the freedom of the world from the creeping scourge of communism? Interesting Hillary Clinton has been telling America that she is the most qualified candidate for president based on her 'record,' which she says includes her eight years in the White House as First Lady or 'co-president' and her seven years in the Senate. Here is a reminder of what that record includes As First Lady, Hillary assumed authority over Health Care Reform, a process that cost the taxpayers over $ million. She told both Bill Bradley and Patrick Moynihan, key votes needed to pass her legislation, that she would 'demonize' anyone who opposed it. But it was opposed, she couldn't even get it to a vote in a Congress controlled by her own party. And in the next election, her party lost control of both the House and Senate. Hillary assumed authority over selecting a female Attorney General. How can you possibly laugh in the face of the disasters which face us all from all sides? Oh ignorant youth, the world is not a joyous place. The time has come for you to dispense with the frivolous pleasures of childhood and get down to honest toil until you are sixty-five. Then and only then can you relax and collect your social security and live happily until the time of your death. I JUST I'm 6'2 and I think that's the perfect height. I'm also fairly buffed and musculant as well so the height fits me and my personallity very well. I've been told by multiple women that they would rather sleep with me then with Chris Hemsworth or Cristiano Ronaldo. I can't take all the credit though, I got my parents to thank for my amazing genes but everyone can become close to perfection with the help of the gym. Me and my GirlFriend go there almost every day. never on Sundays though of course PLAYED A GAME I GOT WHILE I WAS AN INTERN AT NINTENDO. IT WAS POKEMANZ RUBEH I PLAYED IT WHEN I WAS WEE LADDY. SO I STARTED IT UP AND EVERYTHING WAS HYPER REALISTIC AND THEN THE GAME STARTED. I NOTICIED TER WUZ A SAVE FILE THAT WAS A GIRL. I WAS PISSED CAUZ I WAS A GUY. SO I PLAYED THE GAME AND TER WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE, AND MAY MY CHARACTER HAD BLACK EYES AND WAS CRYING BLOOD. I WENT INTO A BATTLE AND MY TORCHIC WAS HYPER REALISTIC AND HAD BLOOD ALL OVER HIM/HER/I DON'T FRIKIN KNOW. MY JIMMIES WERE BEYOND RUSTLED BY THIS. MY TORCHIC KILLED THE POKEMANZ AND THERE TRAINER BY SHOOTING THEM WITH A MICRO UZI. HOW THE FUK A TORCHIC CAN HOLD A SUBMACHINE-GUN I WILL NEVER KNOW. THEN MAY KILLED THE TORCHIC AND SAID UR NEXT. BEHIND ME MAY WAS STANDING BEHIND ME AND SHE WAS HOLDING A BOWIE KNIFE. WHY THE HELL A BOWIE KNIFE I DON'T KNOW. SHE SAID, THIS IS FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME. I SAID BITCH, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. Imagine if your wife fucking left you for a goddamn bee. Like jesus christ they only live for 30 full days that's not even enough time to develop a good relationship. If you ask me my man Ken dodged a bullet right there. That fucking bee even got his wife involved in a court case, the fucking manipulative psychopath. And for what even, fucking honey?? Its a healthy nutritious product and the bees don't even get hurt when they collect it. In fact they get a free fucking hive in a protected area for fuck sake. And besides after they ban honey collection what do you think will happen to those bees in the hives huh? That's right the fucking honeybee holocaust. Do they think the beekeepers will just keep those little fuckers for fun?? Hell no they'll get exterminated at speeds unbeknownst to man. That will then cause all the other fucking plants to die because you know pollens and shit and then that's it for us too. The end of the world as we know it. All because some horny bitch wanted some fancy jazz listening bee dick. I say fuck her man, i hope Ken is doing well for himself that man deserves it. YOU started the name-calling by suggesting one day I'll grow up . I'm 52, have lived in SEVERAL foreign countries, speak 2 languages & hold a top-secret security clearance for the last 30, so I feel pretty entitled to form my OWN opinions without YOUR endorsement. If I think those 13 years-olds need to be euthanized, that's MY opinion. Further, I can only hope one day you forget Your NOT behind a keyboard & call someone a petulant child to their face & they kick your teeth right outta your skull. Ummm who are you? O. P original poster was the person I was talking to, not you. I was simply just informing him on how the Witcher 3 is a vastly superior game and how it shits on them in comparison. You idiots always hate and complain about the Witcher and CDPR yet you are still going to buy Cyperpunk when it comes out. What you are saying is pointless, I m clearly winning this argument. I suggest you leave before everyone in this sub downvotes your ignorant little reply. Every fucking time I pass by the kitchen I can t resist but stick my dick in the Nesquik cereal box. It doesn t matter if the cereal hurts my tip, I thrust it in as fast as I can. I don t care if my grandma cries for me to stop, I can t resist looking at his goddamn face, yeah, that s right, the Nesquik bunny s face. As I masturbate in chocolate cereal balls I imagine the Nesquik bunny begging me to destroy his ass, and then ejaculating chocolate milk all over my face as I grant his wish. Normal people disgust me, my only sex drive is towards that fucking bunny, since the first time I ve seen his sexy ass I can t restrain myself from cumming in the chocolate cereal box at least twice a day. Everyone in the house thinks that I m crazy and that I need some kind of therapy, but truth is, I m the only sane one here. Did you know that Captain America can fit his entite shield into his rectum? He's been doing this signature move in the comics ever since his first appearance, where he suprise attacked Hitler by shitting his shield onto his head, knocking him out. Although some find the scenes humours, the mental and physical effect this has on the ol' Captain has been recently highlighted, in a now infamous scene of Cap sobbing while bleeding from his anus. The MCU movie adaptations of the comics have not shown this famous move, but insiders report a deleted scene from Avengers Endgame of him using it on Thanos. Perphaps this scene will be shown off in the Avengers Endgames re-release in theaters. The first time I received a blowjob from a cat, I was about eleven years old, and I am not going to lie, it was one of the best blowjobs I have ever gotten. Now I might add that this was purely accidental. You see, my parents decided I was finally old enough to be left home alone, so I did what any normal teenager would do I stripped naked, jumped on the couch and started beating my meat. Dude. Your worrying too much, being a hung teen rocks. I used to think I had a defect until a bully ripped my towel off in front of classmates in the locker room, and instead of the micro dick he expected I was weilding this flacid kielbasa. Word spread like crazy, I lost my virginity 3 weeks later and had my 13th birthday a couple weeks later. I started on the wrestling team and was well known for stretching Lycra thru college, and I pretty much got laid like crazy with a few size issues here and there. You got it, flaunt it use it. Now at some point Your going to mature a bit and want to be more than a life support system for a giant dick, and that's fine but your crotch meat gift will serve you well. ​Jesuis uis ur god, u wil baw don 2 hime, he is ur surprem leeder. Allah is a not reel becus ur a not a nic. U make a thinkl thst jesuis is note reel. UUIR ROOONG. JESUIS IS REE L. Eye ame a divotidd christian an i wil be c-ing ur loyir bCUZ tf2 9teem f0rteris 2 is a bade gam. I liek to goe 2 church evru wekand an i w0rshope GOD. uif u eet evri singel fige i wil nevr kol u a pig becuz i raspoct animels, i am e vegeen an i beleev in aminel rites. Teknolgy is DEVIL, i HAT KOMPUTORR, yutob is a SIN. wen yoo go 2 bed i like 2 wutch yoo becuz i crishtan especially wen yoo eat buterscotch puddy Vodlu iz ugh sin, onlee beeble iz aloed buk. Rasicdem isn ot alOOWOWOED. hh Petey Piranha is a fat mushroom-headed panty-wearing Little Shop of Horrors lookin bitch who is OP and fast as shit even in the slowest fucking kart in MKDD, he almost ALWAYS ends up being one of the top three in the lead and fighting with my ass. He s creepy, his voice sounds like a gorilla choking on a potato and he sucks to play as because you can t see over his Trump s ego-sized head and somehow isn t as fast WHEN YOU PLAY AS HIM AS HE IS WHEN YOU RE RACING AGAINST HIM. What is wrong with the world? A few years back I donated 1 kidney to my local hospital and they were very happy and thankful, but a week ago I donated 4 more kidneys and now the police won t leave me alone. This world is so strange I AM SO TIRED OF SEEING HIS STUPID FAT ASS IN THE TOP OF THE ROSTER, GET LUIGI AND WARIO AND TOAD AND PARATROOPA UP THERE AND SHIT, COME THE FUCK ON. ALSO HOW COME HE AND BOO BOTH CAN USE EVERYONE S SPECIAL ITEMS?! THEY CAN T BE BOTHERED TO JUST MAKE THEIR OWN? THEY RE LAZY AND THEY RE THIEVES AND THEY RE BROKEN. What the fuck you talking about?? I know wayyy more than you about electromagnetic waves, buddy lol have you built a tesla spark gap coil? Do you know the earths resonance or what it's even called? Schumann's resonance by the way. Yes, the earth has it's frequency and vibration, something I studied very in depth. I've written a research paper on how are earth's magnetic fields and ionosphere are being affected by our solar systems accelerated rate of movement through the universe. Dude, don't be mad cause I'm smarter than you and actually know what the fuck I'm talking about. I get it, you think DMT is a party drug. You never tried it, never researched yet you know everything about it. Your the anti vax mom I'm an intellectual individual who researches and studies the things I'm talking about. I dont care if you believe me lol I dont need gratification from you either, I was trying to make a point to stupid people. Lesson learned, I'll continue to have I intelligent conversations with intelligent people off the internet. Peace out, to the guy with a handle of a 5 year old. I bet you didn't even finish high school, you out here frontin like your shit don't stink. You think people who study DMT can't have a degree or have knowledge in scientific fields like electromagnetism. I've worked at the Snowlab in my hometown, it's a neutrino research laboratory btw. I WANT TO LIKE YOU, PETEY. YOU RE MILDLY CUTE OUTSIDE THE GAME AND I LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU RE A PLANT AND ALSO FUCKING STUPID. BUT YOU ARE AN ATTENTION WHORE IN MKDD WHO IS DYSFUNCTIONAL WHEN I PLAY AS YOU. I DREW WALUIGI KICKING YOU IN THE ASS BECAUSE HIS SHOES ARE POINTY AND I WANTED TO DRAW HIM KICKING SOMEONE AWAY WITH ONE OF HIS SHOES AND YOU WERE THE IDEAL VICTIM. So after about two minutes of masturbation, my orange cat Jonesy walks in, and honestly I didn't think much of it, but then I noticed that he was getting kind of curious. He was slowly moving closer and closer to me, and then he proceeded to jump on the couch with me, and then he just kind of sat down and quietly observed me. Now at first, I was kind of creeped out by this, but you know I hadn t finished yet, so I decided to just ignore him and to continue masturbating, and I have to say that this was the best decision of my life. Good job lads, the ship is ours! Let em have their longboat so they can row back home. Laughs Longboat filled with the defeated crew is dropped into the water while the ship is pillaged. This be a mighty fine haul, even the ship should sell nicely, once we get it to port. Pause for crewmember finding something You found something? Well don t just stand there, out with it! Crewmember pulls a beautiful young woman from under the deck of the commandeered ship, and is brought onto the pirate ship. Oh a stowaway, and a pretty one too. Cap n flashes a toothy smile. Well no need to hide anymore missy, you re our guest, with all the privileges that implies. Takes a hold of the young woman I trust you lads can handle the ship while I m busy. The Cap n walks the young woman to her cabin, unimpeded by her impotent struggle. Door opens and then shuts. The room is elegantly furnished, a mahogany dining table dominates the center of the room with a few cabinets lining the one wall. On the opposite is a large painting of a ship in a storm. On the far side of the room is another door. Pause for pleading Oh don t worry las, I m not going to hurt you. I wouldn t get as much gold for damaged goods. Running a finger down the side of the young woman s face. Pause for shocked response. Yes, I m sure a pretty little thing like you will get me some nice gold at some old whore house. Pause for more shock I might or I might not. Depending on how well you behave. So I suggest you stop squirming and sit down. The young woman stops struggling and sits in one of the chairs. You must be starving, I ll have Bruce cook you up something later, but for now, this should hold you over. Cap n takes an apple from a fruit bowl and rolls it over to the young woman, who looks at it wearily. Seeing her apprehension, the Cap n chuckles. Go on it s not going to hurt you, see. Taking another apple eating half the apple in a single bit. Encouraged by this the young woman takes a bite from the juicy apple. While the Cap n walks over to the coat rake, removing her coat, and hat. Then she goes to one of the cabinets and withdraws a bottle and some glasses. And this should help your nerves, you re shaking like a leaf. Getting closer to the young woman, looming over her. Pause for question Red wine. Pulls out cork from bottle. Pause question What you thought pirates only drank rum? Laughs Oh don t get me wrong I love rum, but I also have a taste for the finer things too. Cap n pours a glass for herself and the young woman. Have some, trust me you ll feel better. So, what s a pretty little thing like you doing out on the sea? Pause for response Running away from home? Now why would you need to go and do that? I bet you left some poor lad with a broken heart. Pause for correction. Oh las, I m sorry, he broke your heart? Pause for sobs He called you ugly? By the powers, that boy must have rocks for eyes. Cap n takes a gentle grasp of the young woman s head turns her so they re face to face and kisses her. Pause for response That was a kiss silly girl, surly you know what those are. Pause for why? Because I wanted to, that s why. Another kiss Plus it looked like you really needed one. Pause for observation Aye we re both ladies, what does that have to do with anything? Another kiss Pause for response Bet it s your first time ever kissing a shark too. Kiss Pause for affirmation Well, there s a first time for everything, and we re just getting started. Cap n then pulls the young woman onto her lap, getting an eep from her. Before giving her a deep kiss. Sounds of making out follow. Cap n starts moving her hands up and down the young woman s back, and then her sides, and eventually her chest. Kissing stops. Hmm, these tits are very nice. I ve wanted to get my hands on these from the moment I say them. Nice and big. How big are they? Pause for breathy response Oh DD, same as me. Pause for observation They don t look that big now because I wrap them up, don t want them getting in the way. Cap n takes off her shirt here let me show you. After taking off her shirt revealing that the Cap n chest is bound in wrappings. Using a knife from the table she cuts through the wraps as her own DD tits burst free. There we go, much better. So what do you think? Pause for stammered admiration Why thank you. Chuckles For someone who s never kiss a woman before you seem to like what you see. Pause for apology Oh that s just fine las, you can do more than just look, if you d like. The young woman takes her hands and slowly places them on the Cap n s breasts. Well, that didn t take much coaxing did it? That s it play with me big tities. More kissing. At length the kissing stops. Now let s get this out of the way. Rips the shirt right of the young woman Oh don t worry I ll get you a new shirt, a much better one. Cap n presses there breast close together. Just about the same size, they do look a bit bigger on you. But you are more than a foot shorter than me. Was that a little moan? Does it feel good when I press my tits up against yours? Pause for affirmation Then here have some more. Cap n rubs her breasts into the young woman s Oh that does feel good. Kiss It s been a while since I ve been with another woman, it s getting me all excited. You want to feel how excited? Cap n takes the young woman s hand and starts to lead it down to her crotch. When suddenly, there s a load knocking at the door. Oh, for fuck s sake! Cap n picks up the young woman off her lap, stands her up, and storms to the door. You d better have a damn good reason for this or I ll use your head as a cannon ball! The Cap n throws open the door, still topless. The crewman at the door is only slightly surprised to see her big tits. Well what is it, I m a bit busy at the moment savvy? Pause for explanation Oh. Thanks for letting me know. Sounding very pleased Now get back to work, I ve got matters to attend to. Cap n closes the door and saunters back to the young woman, who is currently using one of the cabinet doors to cover herself. Sorry for that rude interruption, but I ve just been informed of something I think you re really going to like. Pause for question Kiss Follow me and you ll find out. The Cap n walks to the door on the far side of the room, her tail swaying back and forth. She opens the door and the young woman follows her. This new room is dominated by, a large bed, an even larger stone basin filled with warm water, and a large window. Pause for question It s my personal bath, water s nice and warm care to join me? Begins taking off her pants. And no clothes in the bath, so off with em. As she flings her now removed pants with her tail. Standing next the bed she strikes a Captain Morgan, fearlessly flaunting her feminine facets. Her arms, chest, and abdomen have a number of scars proudly displaying her history of violence. Her figure is athletic and toned. She shows her sharp teeth with a brilliant smile. The young woman looks her up and down lost in the display, and the Cap n is loving every second of it. So what do you think? Pause for flustered response Come over here. Give come hither sign The young woman walks up to the gorgeous shark, who takes her hand and runs it down her waist to between her legs, right to her wet pussy. Feel how warm and wet I am? Pause for nod Then best not keep your captain waiting, get those pants off and let s get to the real fun. Pause for confusion That s right, you ve been a good girl, so I m going to keep you on this ship. Now take off you pants. Pause for hesitation Young woman starts taking off her pant asking her Cap n to not be scared. Scared, Ha! I don t get scared I. As the young woman removes her pants the Cap n realizes why see was so nervous, a thick cock bobbed semi-erect from between her legs. But from time to time I do find myself surprised. Well blow me down, that s a mighty fine cock you have there las. Mind if I take a closer look Before the young woman can reply, the Cap n kneels down in front of her and takes her semi-hard cock in her hand. Making the young woman gasp. Cap n begins to slowly stroke the young woman s cock. Oh my, it s so thick, long too, and you re not even all that hard. Let s see. Cap n lifts the thick dick and looks behind the balls. Aye, you have your woman parts too. Oh you re a very special treasure. Pause for response Upset? I ll admit I didn t expect this, but I m not upset. Not in the slightest. I m taking it that this is the reason you ran away. Pause for response Oh I m sure you ll find out soon enough. My I think you re getting bigger and you re leaking pre, oh I m definitely getting a taste of this. Cap n moves closer to the young woman s stiffening cock. Pause for mortal terror Laughs What? Are you worried about these? Cap n flashes a wide smile showing her sharp serrated teeth, possible making a biting sound for good measure. Chuckle Don t worry, I have lots of experience, you re in safe hands, or mouth. With that the Cap n opens her mouth and takes in the first few inches into her mouth. The young woman s fear quickly evaporates into ecstasy, moaning softly. Dick sucking noises. The Cap n goes deeper and deeper, feeling the cock in her mouth getting bigger and harder. After sucking it for a while the Cap n pops it out to admire its size. Wow, you must be bigger than half me crew, that s mighty impressive. Goes back to stoking the cock. You still have some more to go? Well let s get you to full mast then. Cap n starts suck of her cock again, taking her all the way to the base. Deep-throat noises. ​i know many things that is to laugh about you all you care about is glory meanwhile playing your game, don't you have anything else to be proud of in real life? your successes on mental omega means nothing your community is laughable, it has similar traits to swr productions communty a community that you despise so much, but in reality you are no different than them i know that egoistic and toxic people never succeed, is that why you gloat so much when you are good at playing MO? i will drag you downwards slowly but surely you don't deserve kindness from me i despise you Okay so I'm actually scared about this. Last night, after I beat my meat, I accidentally sat in the small puddle of semen I made, and IT WENT IN MY ASS. Am I pregnant now or what? Guys please help me, my stomach keeps aching from my ass and I think it's a baby but I don't wanna find out You see, after about a few more minutes of watching me, Jonesy decided to help me out. He slowly moved closer and proceeded to put his front paws on my naked thigh, putting his face maybe three to four inches from my penis. Now at this point, I was kind of close to cumming, so I just tilted my head back and closed my eyes. And this is when it finally happened, this is when I felt his tiny little tongue on my rock hard dick, and it was the weirdest, but also the best, feeling ever. His tongue was a bit rugged, yet gentle, and he was moving it so rapidly that I stood no chance I orgasmed and exploded my seed all over Jonesy s cute face. Some of the cum even went deep into his throat and he swallowed it with no hesitation. Unfortunately, some of the cum also found its way into his tiny nostrils, causing him to sneeze, which launched the cum into the air, some of it landing on my face and some of it landing on the couch. After the feeling of euphoria settled I slowly returned to reality. I almost couldn't comprehend what had just happened, but I knew I was dead if my parents ever found out, so I proceeded to take a shower with Jonesy and then I thoroughly cleaned the living room, removing every last ounce of cum. My parents never found out. Pull your head out of your butt, dude. Your not a legend, Your not a god, all you are is cocky, prideful, and annoying. The day you take on pros like MKLeo and Tweek you know, a couple of REAL legends for Ultimate and beat them, and take a major over them, then you can brag. Down with Esam, the hack. ​take a look at this fucker right here, its an abomination, i hate it. How did anyone think this was a good idea for an emoji? The point of emojis is to show emotion, well what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think, WOW i sure do feel like a massive fucking stone today! It provokes me whenever i see it, it mocks me with its smug visage. What i really wanna do is drive down to the emoji headquarters, find the computer that hosts this specific emoji Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear…. you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…. sniff…ah…. ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor…. sniff sniff…hmmm…. is that…. sniff…. hmmm…. I can almost taste it my dear…. yes…. just…sniff…. a little whiff more if you please…. ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now…. yes quite…. hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…. quite exquisite yes…. I dare say…sniff…. the most pungent one yet my After this, me and Jonesy repeated this experience on the daily. As most people do, I masturbated every night before sleep, so when all the lights in the house went dark, I cracked the door open and Jonesy would slip in, and we would do the deed. Over the years, our little ritual was also becoming more sophisticated. I would proceed to rub my penis with bacon so Jonesy wouldn't just lick the tip of my penis, but he would rather pleasure me from the balls all the way up to the top of the shaft. We decided to also try penetration. Now, Jonesy's asshole was pretty small and tight, so I had to use butter as lubricant, and I have to say that it went pretty well. His virgin asshole felt amazing, but then about a minute in, Jonesy started to get kind of rowdy. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore, and he quickly turned around and actually chomped at my penis, so yeah that was the first and also the last time we did that. Jon, accept it. it's a fact. K pop isn't a music genre. It's a cultural sinkhole. Your actively worsening society as a whole with your degeneracy. Idolizing and worshipping, autotuned artists based on their identity instead of their musical talents harms the global music industry. Ever heard of an ugly Korean singer? I didn't think so, Jon. Your support of this industry propagates harmful beauty standards across impressionable youth worldwide which leads to poor mental health and eating disorders. Do you want that, Jon? Didn't think so, asshole. ​Ok hear me out. The other day I was REALLY FUCKING MAD. I was at the doctor and had to do a urine sample because of some liver disease, who fuckin knows what that is, and he says my piss is unhealthy! I ask him why and he says its because its black! I instantly stormed out of the place and now I'm thinking, OH IS IT CUH ITS BLACK HUH? THE FUCK WRONG WITH BLACK PISS? IS THIS SOME WAY OF SAYING WHITE PISS IS BETTER THAN BLACK PISS? CUH THATS FUCKIN RACIST MOFUCKA. Why can't black piss be healthy too, well the answer was clear. Piss is racist as fuck, because apparently white piss is healthier than black piss. Racist ass piss. Sorry not to share this sooner, as the trailer came out yesterday, but I need to address the FINAL TRAILER for the Angry Birds Movie 2. I am extreamly hyped for this film that is deserves 10/10 already and decided I cannot contain my excitement and must express it to you all. One might call this a trailer break down, but it is something far more sentimental to me. Here we go I'm gonna try not to cry tears of joy and hope I dont make you either [Be prepared though] Hello Mr. Trump. I am a citizen of Iran. I do not cooperate with the regime of the Islamic Republic. The Islamic Republic is a terrorist and corrupt. Only regime change in Iran, the Iran rescue of terrorism. Set an alternative to the Islamic Republic. The trustworthy figure of the Iranian people is just Prince Reza Pahlavi. From the beginning of the trailer, it shows off the many themes this film is likely to have. We already see western, teamwork, and free-falling vibes with Europe's The Final Countdown sprinkled on top as a beatiful score for this fabulous trailer. yo, guys. So uh let me tell y'all a story about me and my friends. So me and my friends would uhh well, we would feed this little retarded girl some lsd and we would lock arms around her, and start yelling NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE. it actually cured her retardation. We are introduced to Chuck's sister, Silver, about 50 seconds into the trailer. It seems there is going to be some character clashing between her and Red. I can already feel the tension between them vibrating through this trailer. Sometimes on laundry day, I'll put on a dirty pair of jeans, stand in the shower, and pee my pants. The warmth makes me feel cozy, and the way the wet denim sticks to my legs gives me a very satisfying feeling, and of course there's the relief of emptying your bladder. I caught my son Jacob looking at Rebekah's ankles when she knowingly wore a dress that exposed at least 3 inches of ankle. Look. I haven't witnessed a single hater of Lil Nas X amongst my friends, they just think it's meh or decent because they did have high hopes for it. Albeit perhaps they'd never been realistic enough, I don't know. My son was banned from chores for a month for his sin. Ok HOLD ON. Read before you jump to conclusions. Suddenly I was NAKES and One D was like all up ons They were making out with each other and I got to watch them kiss and touch the butts and touch my butts and they Licked me the best because I was the prettiest and was way prettier than AMY at school who's going out with Nathan fuck you nathan pLs come back to me My grandma has always been a rather relaxed old lady. Aside from her political tirades here and there, she s your typical ol grandma. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Killer Bean. The action is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jack s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation Yesterday, grandma calls me to ask if I ll come with her to the Home Depot to help her pick up a few things. I happily oblige, it was my day off anyway and I didn t have plans. Hmm lets see, Id tie you up in some bondage so tightly that itd sear into your skin leaving marks. Then itd wrap a vibrator onto your legs so that its slightly just barley sending vibrations onto only your lips making you thirst for more. While Your tied up Id take you by you tits and slide my cock inbetween them while pinching your nipples to keep them in place. Id rub the entrance to your already soaking pussy thena slowly insert just one finger and if you were to make any kind of sound Id slap your add till it turned red. Itd satart with one but id work my way up to the whole fist and let you see what a slutty gaping pussy you have. Id put you face first against a wall, shove my cock into your hot white ass and fuck you as hard and as rough as possible all while my my left hand is wrapped around your neck and the other is squeezing the life out your tits. When I finally need to bust a load Id throw you to the ground and bust my load all inside and all over your pussy, breeding you and making you look like a dirty mess. And to cap it off I'd make your man come and drink it up for me like the lap dog he is Grandma and I get to the Home Depot and I help her get what she needed which was basically just paint and some other things my grandfather needed for some of the work he was getting done on the shed. You know what i fucking hate the most? When some thot group takes up half of the hallway, and Your trying to get to class on time, but the thots resist. FUCKING MOVE YOU DEGENERATE, I WANT TO NOT BE FUCKING LATE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AND THEN WHEN YOU ASK EM TO SHOVE OFF, THEY DO THAT SIGNATURE ugh AND MOVE EVEN SLOWER, IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF, BUNCH OF DUMBASSES! We leave the Home Depot and as we are walking out, my grandma notices the hot dog stand and asks if I want one. Sure, I figured. I have never had sex before, however, someone with intellectual caliber such as myself can easily deconstruct such an elementary pastime. Among the primary objectives of interpersonal coitus are orgasmic convolutions, psychological envelopment, and, most importantly, cognitive exercise. None of these goals are outside my purview of performance, in fact, for an acme of attainment such as myself, they are mere trivialities in my intricately-ordered daily schedule. For a brain boyar such as yours truly, even the most atomically short act of rectal rattling or vaginal vibration is a psychedically splendid experience for whomever would have the pleasure to receive it. Whereas for me, heh, one could describe genius intercourse as easy as 1, 2 , 3 , pee. I just get my hot dog with the usual ketchup & a little mustard. Grandma gets hers the same but with some relish and a bag of salt & vinegar chips. The whore, Rebekah, was shunned by the church and God. I know it's gross, but I'm able to take a shower immediately after and then throw my laundry in the wash. No harm, no foul. Next, we get to see snippets of an almost MIB style scene within a laboratory of the Pigs. It already seems hilarious with the invisible spray and I cant wait for all the other witty humor to come from not only this groundbreaking idea, but also the whole motion picture. The knockers on Tifa help her represent a reassuring, near-maternal figure to Clad even though she's actually younger than him. They're eye candy of course, but breasts produce milk, and babies need milk, therefore big breasts give off a maternal vibe, and that maternal vibe is crucial to Tifa's character. Meat flaps are honestly so sexy. Especially when they are looking like the oldest pair of socks you own. There's something so comforting about your oldest worn out socks, so her pussy has the same effect on me. I'd love to snuggle them. Heck I'd love to put them across my face and just feel the comfort of them slapping across my cheeks and chin. Incest shouldn't be illegal. I have absolutely NO intentions on ever being in a relationship with any of my family members, but if someone does, oh well. But a baby could be born with birth defects smoking while pregnant can also result in birth defects, but that's not illegal. It's gross first of all, your opinion on other people's relationships that DONT INVOLVE YOU is irrelevant. And how is love gross? It's not. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. There's nothing like a woman who has the most worn out pussy. It tells a story. You don't destroy an old book just because it's a bit worn, it still has its story to tell. The same goes to the saggy puss. I bet when wet it's even more powerful. The power of wet meat flaps turn into meat slaps. It was a warm summer day in 2008, I remember every little detail from this tragic, tragic day. To give a little context to my fellow cockasian upper middle class males, it was a normal day I was at my own personal driving range in my back yard sinking some golf balls in southern Texas. I looked to my left to see the beautiful rio grande river as I did every day. But this day was different a very, very bad different. When I looked at the river there was a rag tag raft carrying a family. But this family was different, it wasn t the type of family I d seen before. There skin wasn t pure white like my pure royal bloodline s skin. Me and the crude animal on the raft met eyes he then shouted in a language un-heard by any civilized human. He said something like “tomar el trabajo de ese hombre blanco” I ran inside as quick as my pale chicken legs could carry me. I quickly grabbed my phone and contacted my personal security force to neutralize these creatures. I heard a few bangs a few minutes later, probably just some fireworks. nobody in this neighborhood uses these things called “guns”. After the creatures had disappeared I was briefed on how bad they were for the economy. Now I ve dedicated my whole life to neutralize these feral creatures. I'd honestly be so proud to have a woman with a pussy like that. At least I'd know she has the most unique pussy in the world. It's so rare like a gem. I'd love to feel the rubbery flaps against my hard member. That would be the dream. Thanks for sharing this pic. Adding to my wank bank. But we've become obsessed with the perception of titties and female bodies as sexual objects, therefore we fail to see how big breasts can serve purposes other than sexual, therefore we think Tifa needs smaller breasts to be more ethical , because big breasts are just so sexual and offensive and stuff. What if we are in a simulation our mind has brought us to, just to stop the pain of what are true selves are actually witnessing? I think this simulation started 10 years ago with the release of the movie Rango, maybe, and probably, we got stuck in the very theatre that we saw the movie Rango in. I also believe that the movie kept on playing, and still does play to this day on repeat. I think this because of the fact that every so often I remember the film without any reason why, also, I have this odd, new feeling in which the film is somewhat close or apart of me, so, I ve concluded I must actually be watching the movie in my real sight, and that sometimes my mind actually slips up showing me that I am, in fact, actually watching Rango. Normal-titties Tifa won't be more ethical, she'll be more politically correct and less Tifa. But that's just how it goes nowadays. Lara Croft was the most badass feminine character in gaming until they made her a generic uninteresting girl in the name of realism and feminism. That's pretty rude for absolutely no f king reason. OP just mispelled one word and you made fun of him. What if I downvote you now haha? because I will. I betyou are not gonna like that at all. Also you mispelled kiss in your name and butt as well so we will all make fun of you haha and enjoy downvotes I don't care too much what they do to Tifa because I just assume the characters will be butchered, like usual. Same thing for Rowling and Harry Potter, Lucas and Star Wars, Scott and Alien, Bioware and Mass Effect 3… Once you realize authors don't own and often don't understand their creations you stop caring about their BS. The final trailer ends on a hilarious note with the Pigs and Birds in a disguise for the bigger birds, who seem to be the antagonists of the film. They are infiltrating their ice island fortress in the disguise and the frenemies , which the trailer creatively describes the Birds' and Pigs' cooperation, must have a dance off with one of the bigger birds. If you read the TOS of Reddit you'd know that I have the right to my personal information and the content of my profile. So, if you'd like to continue browsing my profile you must first give this post or any of my other posts platinum. And no, I don't mean silver. And no, I don't mean gold. Only platinums. I'm trying to break the Reddit record for having the biggest gold platinum ratio so golds would ruin it. One more time just to be clear, and if you would like to continue browsing my profile, give this post platinum. And no, you are not allowed to continue browsing my profile without gilding this or any of my other posts . I won't bother you with the legal techicalities which most of you probably won't understand anyways, but when you agreed to the Reddit TOS you also agreed to not violate anyone's personal information. Thank you in advance for the platinums. no golds or silvers please . I cant tell you how freaking exited I am for this movie. It already deserves atleast an Oscar. Preferably a Nobel Peace Prize. Unfortunately our story ends abruptly. At the age of eight years old, Jonesy was driven over by my neighbor. The weeks following the accident were the darkest times of my life, but I eventually got over it, and I still occasionally wank my dick in honor of Jonesy. Introducing, the Frenchie. A new sandwich from Jimmy John's, made with salami and capicola, hand-sliced provolone cheese, and salted butter on a French baguette. Click the Jimmy John's banner now to get yours, for a limited time! Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our détente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mothers for the day of your birth. So, go now, go, and begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!! Listen here Nigga I only drink two things BATTERY ACID AND CUM. So unless you got some DOUBLE As lying around I suggest you get those pants off fucking RIGHT NOW Right so maybe I'm weird but I know a girl who says ahah instead of like lol or the standard haha which is how laughs are spelled so real talk here are you Sherlock fucking Holmes or what? Is it funny or an epiphany? Get off my fucking lawn. My theory is that Rockstar wants you to embrace the dark side, even when you are trying to be good or honorable. It's the same in the GTA games when somebody runs into your car. Why are Japanese girls so hard to talk to? I'm polite. Each time I approach one, I say konichiwa . I always ask them about their favorite anime before talking about my waifu. They're usually really shy which is cute imo but I hate that I have to be the one to constantly engage in conversations with them, and how they usually get disinterested because I'm a white guy. Yes, I get that it's awkward because of Pearl Harbor, but I don't hold it against them. They weren't in Unit 731, so why judge them for ti? Why can't the himes just realize that I really want to be part of it. I'm willing to marry a Japanese woman, adopt Japanese children and even live in Japan for the rest of my life. Hell, I'm even learning the language by watching undubbed anime. Plus I cook a mean bowl of rice for those who don't know, Japanese eat a lot of rice, I do too my Mom says that I act like a Japanese person accuse of all the rice I eat and the anime I watch I always keep an encyclopaedia next to me when I masturbate, as well as a stack of flash cards. If the dark gods materialise in their weiner dog head form, I can quickly act as though I got so caught up in my studies that it aroused me. I shout out Fuck yes, algebra! and only then do I pretend to see the ghostly, judgemental faces floating beside me. Most of the time it works a treat, I've only been punished twice for disobedience despite doing this trick for years, so give it a shot next time To all of you soy sipping liberals who have come to attack me for being a patriot. Allow me to show you where I was before you were old enough to tweet. I ve been where you have not and sacrificed what I hope you never have to so you can insult me on Twitter. I m cute. I look innocent. I m well educated and intelligent. But I have needs… gross needs. Classy girls have sex. I m a slut. Sluts get fucked. I need you to fuck my ass, hard. If I m not screaming then you aren t fucking me hard enough. Use my juices as lube. You ll find that dripping down my legs collecting at my knees. Drown your hand in it. Force it inside me, it will fit if you make it. My cunt doesn t deserve your cock. Turn me inside out. My hole is your playground and you are my God. My name is Van. Uh. I'm an artist. I'm a performance artist. John, accept it. It's a fact. K-Pop isn't a music genre. It's a cultural stinkhole. Your actively worsening society as a whole with your degeneracy. Idolizing and worshiping generic, autotuned artists based on their identity instead of their musical talent harms the global music industry. Ever heard of an ugly Korean singer? I didn't think so, John. Your support of this industry propagates harmful beauty standards across impressionable youth worldwide which leads to poor mental health and eating disorders. Do you want that, John? Didn't think so, asshole. I'm hired for people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star, you know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know. full Master, and change my entire house into a dungeon, uh. Dungeon Master. Now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks, and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and, just lube it up, and it's a long process y'know to get your. get your whole arm up there, but it's an intense feeling for the other person. I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too, and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh. three to five years already? I never thought about it. Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why What the fuck is temmie bot why are you a thing first we got cummy aka God, and then we got owoifier who we didn't like at first but warmed up to him and is now just one level below cummy, so why the fuck are you here temmie bot? What do you even do? You just change some letters to z? Guess what dumbass, owoifier does the same thing for w, and w comes before z so z sucks ass and w master race, so fuck off and never come back you actual owoifier wannabe, I bet your temmie dad beats you, and that you have to cope by being a owoifier copycat, BUT GUESS WHAT FUCKER NOBODY LIKES YOU WHY ARE YOU HERE GO AWAY, Your NOT MY REAL DAD THE CRASH WASN'T MY FAULT PLEASE LET ME GO. Also pigeons are really stupid. You can't just give them a peanut. They pick it up, throw it down, and move on. If you want to give a pigeon a peanut you have to shell it and give them the actual nut pieces. Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out, and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said that it was t h i s b i g and I said that's disgusting. So, I'm making a call out post on my Twitter. com Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. explosion noises That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go HIGHER. I'm PISSING ON THE MOON!!! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! Same with ducks. And ducks love peanuts. Corn too but they become your insta best friend if you give them peanuts. I had one eating directly out of my hand recently and then it followed me all over the park. Super cute. I hate when you get your feet wet at the beach and you gotta walk back to your shoes BUT THEN YOUR FEET ARE WET AND SAND STICKS TO YOUR FEET, AND THEN WHEN YOU PUT YOUR SHOES ON THERE S SAND IN YOUR SHOES. SO WHEN YOU GO BACK TO THE WATER TO WASH THE SAND OFF YOUR FEET YOU D USUALLY FORGET TO HOLD THE SHOES IN YOUR HAND, AND SO YOU GOTTA WALK BACK TO YOUR MF SHOES, PICK EM UP, WALK YO SANDY ASS FEET BACK TO THE WATER, WASH YOUR FEET, PUT YOUR SHOES ON, AND THEN CAREFULLY WALK BACK AND MAKE SURE YOU DON T GET SAND IM YOUR SHOES AGAIN. Herons will never get close to you, they're too nervous. And they love garbage. All birds seem to love garbage. I would always get sent dead memes by this guy in my science class a few years ago. Dude was a fucking weirdo but we had a few group projects together and we all spoke on Facebook, back when I was on it. Anyways this dude would send me the most deacesed memes he could find. Like they were fucking bones at this point. The internet was clearly over it and I guess he thought that I, of all people in my group would find him so hilarious. I stopped responding after like the first week cause he wasn't getting the hint at my dry ass responses that I thought his jokes were shit. Luckily after that school year I moved and didn't have to deal with him anymore. Apparently he got shit faced while in his Uncle's barn somewhere upstate and passed out, only to wake up halfway through about a dozen pigs ferociously eating him alive. Most corvids will get closer and closer depending on how much they trust you. Crows are easiest to gain trust with. Then in order it seems to be jackdaws > ravens > magpies > bluejays. Ostriches have terrible ground fighting skills. If you can manage to get behind one, cinch your arm around its neck tightly and use your momentum to fall to one side. While on the ground and keeping hold of the neck, make sure to chop the throat repeatedly until the bird loses consciousness Magpies seem to have really supportive family groups. The whole flock will look after the nest for example. Pretty neat. oh my god i accidentally sent u a picture of my Cock And Balls. please delete it!! unless. u want to look? lol just kidding delete it. if u want. haha nah delete it. unless? Almost any bird will approach you if you sit calmly and offer occasional food. Assuming the internet and all its furry porn websites exist for an infinite amount of time, theoretically, infinite furry porn could be created. But that does not mean infinite furry porn will be created. It's simply an assumption we make. For example, imagine we have 99 people, 33 are male, 66 are female. If we take 3 people randomly from that group, it doesn't definitely mean that 1 person would be male and the other two female, it could be any combination resulting in the gathering of 3 people. So we make these assumptions, and while they may not be true, it's what we base reality on. Back to furry porn. For any amount of reasons, possibly infinite in itself, there could result in an issue where no more furry porn can be created, therefore making the amount of furry porn vast, but not infinite. There would be a highly likely that one of these occurrences would take place, either resulting in the amount of furry porn becoming finite, or erasing all furry porn, with the ability t create furry porn. This means that there is a very small chance that infinite furry porn could exist, rendering it a statistical improbability. Corn is a big hit btw. Peanuts are much easier cause it's not like they go bad in your pocket. But if Your intentionally going out to be a bird friend you should definitely bring a bag of corn. Birds go crazy for that shit. I have been playing Minesweeper since literally the beginning back in Windows 7 days. I don't want to brag, but I'm the guy who keeps setting the world record. Breaking my own record, setting the new record—circle of life, I guess? I think it's time for me to make a living out of this. I know there is more to Minesweeper than the score, though, and I genuinely love when the scoreboard server crashes and resets because I get the feeling that a lot of new players can join in the beautiful game without being intimidated by my high scores. Definitely don't bring bread. Most importantly it is bad for birds, but also they actually like other foods more. Except lettuce. No bird has ever accepted lettuce offerings. They peck at it then move on, lettuce is a joke to them apparently. Ever since i was twelve ive been sticking my fingers in my ass in the shower and removing the shit from my anus and than shoving it down drain with my fingers, i even did it at my friends house once and his shower reeked of ass for a few days as he told me on the bus to school the week after, its gross, unhygenic and weird, but it feels so good and I dont wanna do anything else. I cant even enjoy fucking gmod. I've done 9 different psychedelic drugs over the past 4 months and im younger then 20, I did DOC 3 fuckin times. My brain is fucked and I make a commitment to stop the self butt love but I can't, i tried gay sex but I feel less manhood in it and I felt like a bitch. All i can talk about is my possibly screwed mental health, what im changing, but i cant tell anyone im literally digging for nuggets to shove into the shower drain like a play-doh set. KILL ME. Consistency is good too. I always say hi bird! when I see a bird, then throw down a peanut cause again the corn is just for targeted bird friend making journeys . Not all birds are smart enough but there's some local birds that get it by now. They'll even fly along with me on my walk waiting for more food drops. You can't do this in Paris btw. Apparently it is illegal to feed birds. So don't go to Paris. Who wants 2-4 hour lines and you can't even make friends with birds? You just never quit, do you? Took out ghaul. Woke up the traveler. And now half of what i hear in the streets is how much you and your clan are making a difference. And that's why i started this whole clan thing in the first place. People are still waiting for the Vanguard to lead the way. But it's time for a change! And guardians like you are making it happen. No pressure. Oh yah back to the first point. Corvids understand the peanuts. They will hold the shelled peanut with one foot and then peck in to shell to get the nut. And they understand what is up too. If you have a crow or whatever that seems to sorta be looking you can toss that peanut down and they'll come grab it. 